Wednesday, May 06, 2015

15 Lessons I've Learned on Being Married for 15 Years

Fifteen Years of being married.

May 6, 2000 3pm Sto. Domingo Church, Quezon City.

Twenty Four Years of loving the same person.

More than Half of our lifetime of being together.

Sam and I met in college, started out as friends until one day he ‘resigned’ as a friend. I have this policy you see “You can’t court me if you are my friend”. Cried a week then moved on, realized I can’t ignore his courtship. So basically Love Found Me when I promised myself to not go looking at 17.

The years passed by so quickly. We did not even realized it has been fifteen years already, we just noticed that most of our appliances began dying on us and the gifts from our wedding began to feel old. It did not feel that long maybe because living with each other has come so naturally for us. I realized I have been giving marital advise more frequently lately I decided to compile a list of things I believe is important in making a marriage lasts or workout.

1. Never give up
Three days before we got married we had our final interview with the parish priest. He asked us repeatedly if we are sure that we want to get married. He ask us examine ourselves and honestly answer(in private) “Will this man make me happy for the rest of my life”. That day we just had enough money for the transportation home and none for lunch. We asked each other is we will still be happy with each other even if the hard times come. We both answered YES and made a PACT to NEVER Give Up and NEVER Let Go even when the times are hard. Our motto “Walang iwanan”. It comes handy at times when one tries to give up and attempt to leave the marriage.

2. Communication is always OPEN.
Your spouse must be the person you talk to about anything under the sun. No subject is off limits. Communication between the two of you must be 24/7, make time for discussing important stuff. Just like in the workplace you have weekly/monthly/emergency meetings in marriage you also must have regular ‘meetings’ to talk about important stuff.

3. TRUST your spouse Explicitly
Since your communication is open you can trust your spouse 100%. If you have doubts you can always ask him.

4. Be each other’s BFFs
Basically when you were married you had become ONE literally. Best friends love and support each other more so if you are married. You should be the No.1 fan/supporter/ defender/ caregiver/ buddy/partner in crime of your spouse. Anticipate his needs, be his shock absorber. You must be the first person he will go to when he has problems/triumphs/goodnews and vice versa.

5. Keep on Dating 
Keep the romance alive. It should never die. Have a regular date without the kids. Watch a movie, go to concerts, window shop like you did as boyfriend/girlfriend. Hold hands, do PDAs, give love notes, keep the love burning HOT.

6. Have common goals. Have long range and short range plans
Married life can be smooth sailing if you planned for it. Set goals. Kids? House? Car? Travel? Retirement? These things must be talked about and planned even before you get married. It is good to know that both of you are working on a common goal, especially when times are hard and you both need the motivation to work it out.

7. Have your own place away from the in-laws
Have your own house at the start of the marriage. Rent a small place if you can’t buy a house but do it. I believe that a newly married couple must learn to live with each other without the extended family. When you marry the first years are crucial in forming the marriage. You both must have the freedom to make your own decisions/habits/traditions away from prying eyes. Make love in any part of the house/have shouting matches/ argue the night away/ settle you differences/have romantic dinners in the privacy of your house without other people butting in. It will help both of you in the long run. So when you have arguments or fights in the future you will know when to stop and when to make up and woo the other person.

8. It is OK to go to bed angry
Being angry is normal. There are situations that can’t be solved before bedtime. Sometimes it takes days for your spouse to forgive/understand what you did. Remind him of your Never Give Up motto if he wants to end the marriage.

9. Set Boundaries. Know your limits.
As a married person you must know your limits, you have a “better half” that will be affected by your actions. So tone down the party girl in you, and other things that you use to do when your single. Remember that your spouse is your immediate family/your person, he must be first in your priorities before your mother/father/siblings/friends.

10. Forgiveness is a given
Always forgive and don’t retaliate. You are sabotaging your own marriage if you treat your spouse as an enemy

11. Make your Family your Priority
Always know your goals and priorities. If you both decided that the family that you built is No.1 then the sacrifices and decisions that you will undertake will be easy.

12. Sex like wine gets better with age.
No need to elaborate.

13. Be on the same page in finances
We have a saying “Habang maliit ang kumot, matuto kang mamaluktot ”. Marriage is an equal partnership, if times are hard both you must learn to adjust. Learn to budget early in the marriage and designate the person to do it. Help each other financially it is not just the problem of the husband, wives should help and enhance the wealth. Look for alternative income. When money is abundant learn to save and try to make more money.

14. Learn to take care of each other’s health
Being married means you are not just responsible for yourself but also of your spouse. Exercise together if you can, encourage and support each other in having a healthy lifestyle.

15. Never stop saying “I Love You”
I have this habit of sending I Love You/Thinking about you/Missing You messages and other naught IMs to my husband anytime of the day. It makes me happy and I know it also makes him happy especially if he is having a lousy day at the office. It builds up the sense of well-being in a person, knowing that he is loved and cherished.

Happy 15th Anniversary Sam! I will always thank the Lord for the gift of YOU!

Monday, January 10, 2011

Minute Maid Pulpy, Love that Pulpy Taste!

I just drank a bottle of Minute Maid Pulpy. They say it’s got ‘no preservatives added’. Aw, c’mon…It’s bottled juice. Is that even possible? So I thought maybe... I should try it, just to confirm.

I didn’t believe it the first time I heard it’s got no preservatives added. So I read the ingredients (even the fine print) and everything checked out! It really has NO PRESERVATIVES ADDED! That means it doesn’t have ingredients that may turn out to be allergens, or worse...carcinogens! Whew! Now that’s healthy goodness that tastes so good, I... think it passed my criteria for a healthy drink. I have a son that has allergies and he is allergic to most juice drinks available in the market. His pedia advised me to stay away from juice drinks that is full of preservatives and other harmful chemicals.

So okay, it’s got no preservatives added. That’s really good, right? Not just because it doesn’t have those icky, harmful ingredients, but it also means... I am assured that my family will have this healthy drink that they can enjoy anytime and anywhere.

So far anyone who still has a hard time believing that Minute Maid has got no preservatives added - meaning it's THAT natural, it's almost like it's plucked straight from the tree, it's just as Mother Nature wanted your orange juice to be, it's got nothing but the good stuff yes, none of those potentially toxic stuff that can harm your brain, kidneys, heart; cause tumors aargh- the list of preservatives' bad effects just go on!!! Anyway, just to prove a point on just how good Minute Maid Pulpy is 'cause it's got NO PRESERVATIVES ADDED, I'm gonna serve it to my family, they are real juice drinkers specially at breakfast. I would also tell my friends how healthy Minute Maid Pulpy is and they should share it with their family too.

Feels good to know about the real pulpy deal, right? C’mon show me a smile on the comment box, and you might win yourself a Really Pulpy Deal! (That’s a chance to win a Minute Maid gift pack simply by commenting. Sweet! C'mon you just might be picked as the lucky 'commentor'!)



Do you like Minute Maid Pulpy too? Join this contest. I heard about this contest from Janette Toral. Thanks Janette!

Monday, January 03, 2011

Reviewing 2010 and looking Ahead

I had great plans for 2010 but it did not turn out that way, what happened was something much grander than I have ever dreamed possible. God is not just good but GREAT!

In 2010 we became home owners. Owning a house was supposed to be a priority before starting a family, well all I can say is that nothing can compare to the feeling of waking in the morning in a house that you own. I should know, I lived in a rented house my whole life.

Change of plans. In 2010 my priorities changed, family and home became my topmost concern. We were moving into a new house, a new province actually, meeting new people and experiencing a new lifestyle. My professional life took a backseat but I don’t mind for family is more important.

Looking Ahead

At the start of 2011, I started my Snacks Shop here at home and business is brisk and steady. I hope to open a Coffee shop this year. Health is also a priority for us, we live with my parents and I am concerned about them being fit, so their general check up is being scheduled this month.

Everything is looking good so far, there are travel plans, I need to renew that passport soon. I would like to have a piggery, so were studying the feasibility of that one. Plus our ‘hacienda’ in Baras maybe awarded to us this year. I also pledged a little girl to help finance her studies.

My blogs have been neglected this past year, plus my social presence diminished, this year I promised myself to reach out more online and add another blog or two.

Cheers to 2011!

Thank you Lord for giving us this New Year.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Home Sweet Home

I would like to share how my home now looks. After months of renovations, we have settled in nicely. Although there are still things to do like we still do not have built-in cabinets and the bookshelves are still not here. I can safely say it's a work in progress.

Our Turtle Pong's Pond
My Pink Kitchen

Living/Dining Room

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Owning our Home

We have been living here in our new house for two months now. It is a great milestone for us as we just celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary. A very precious gift from my husband. It took tremendous amount of blood, sweat and tears before we were able to move in but it's all worth it!

The feeling of living in a house that is truly your own is overwhelming. The very first day I woke up in our home I felt very peaceful, that’s the only way I can describe it. Regardless of how chaotic the house is, we ended sleeping in the same room with boxes all around us, crowding the only electric fan, there was peace.

Here are the various picture of the house, it is still under renovation to accommodate all our needs but hey its home.

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Yahoo! Meme is here!

I’ve been microblogging for a year now and it has become an essential part of my daily routine, greeting from good morning to your friends to telling them what you eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner, sharing your immediate moods and feelings.

I find my microblogging community as my support system, we share almost all aspect of our lives on a day to day basis that if you feel down they cheer you up and even help you decide on things if you let them.

This is why when I attended the Blog4Reviews Christmas party last December for their bloggers and partners and Jonas de los Reyes of Yahoo! Philippines introduced us to Yahoo! Meme, I became interested.

Yahoo! Meme is not just any other Microblogging site that it purely text or you are limited to the 140 characters line to express your feelings. With Yahoo! Meme you can share and express yourself thru different media, text, photo, video and audio. Meme also offers easy way of spreading or sharing whatever you find interesting by their one-click repost feature.

Since I signed up in Yahoo! Meme, I’ve meet new people, gone to places I have never been and forged new friendships. Through Yahoo! Meme my world expanded regardless of time and place, I learned new things and saw great places that people around the world share through memes.